It's been a very long time since I wrote a post on here, and I think it's well over due, to be honest. Last night I watched a documentary which truly got me thinking. It was about this totally nasty guy who abused and took advantage of a whole bunch of guys just to satisfy his own fetishes. The only reason he was truly able to achieve this was because he had inhered a hell of a lot of money from his very rich and successful father. I am not going to go into the nature of the crimes that he committed, or why i think he did them - but the fact that this worthless asshole was abusing people in… Pročitajte više

I wonder if other people feel the exact same way I do about eating a woman's delicious pussy and ass... For me, there is almost nothing more intimate and satisfying, and it's something I could do for hours, if allowed. Some women do not like their pussy and ass being licked for long periods, some not at all. This is something I rarely get to do any more, most women I find do not either enjoy it, are ashamed of how much hair they may have etc. To me, I do not pass judgement, this (for me) is something spiritual almost, an act which feels otherworldly in some way and which satisfies me more t… Pročitajte više

This is possibly the hardest piece of writing that I will ever post on here, and it's one which is extremely personal, but I do value people's constructive responses, ideas and criticism (as long as it is CONstructive). Coming to the realization that there is no help left for me is something that I have accepted. I will no longer fight for myself in order to help myself, yet I can only now just accept what is. This is not the same as giving up, by any means, it is simply admitting defeat, and accepting the way things have to be. It is obvious (and very clear to me) that people like myself e… Pročitajte više

Although I have often been asked about my attraction to darker literature, films, music and people in general, I have never really given it much thought (in terms of where BPD is concerned). Growing up, I was always a considered a bit “strange” or “weird” by my peers – other k**s were reading “Dick and Jane” books, yet as early as the age of 7-8 I was engrossed by Stephen King, Dean Koontz and others. I was engulfing these books at a pretty rapid rate, and instead of using my school library, I would go to the local public library to get my fix (school didn’t cater for me). Horror films start… Pročitajte više

Do you understand what it means to be truly lonely? True loneliness occurs in this world when you’re in a room full of people, and you still feel so empty inside. When you live in a house full of people, yet you don’t know how to communicate with any of them, even when they speak the same language as you. When you are outside, and cannot feel completely comfortable, ever, because you’re not enclosed any more. True loneliness is when you’ve had just about as much isolation as you can stand, yet you can still take more, even though it’s killing you. Loneliness is when you’ve cut everyone of… Pročitajte više

So much of your life is already shaped and defined by the time that you’re 12 years old, you end up taking stuff with you that you didn’t even know you had. That’s what it is like for me, personally, and I am in a constant battle to try and change these things, yet it’s hard when they’re so prominent in my life. In my experience, I was never someone who “responded” well to medication in order to change my behavior (quite the opposite really). I’ve been on every d**g known to man (and some quite unknown), but all of them carry side-effects which outweigh any kind of benefit that they may offer… Pročitajte više